Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
- ISBN13: 9780425191651
- Condition: NEW
- Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
Product Description
“He doesn’t mean to hurt me-he just loses control.”
“He can be sweet and gentle.”
“He’s scared me a few times, but he never hurts the children-he’s a great father.”
“He’s had a really hard life…”
Women in abusive relationships tell themselves these things every day. Now they can see inside the minds of angry and controlling men-and change their own lives. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor shows how to improve, survive, or leave an … More >>
Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
February 7, 2010
Tags: Angry, Controlling, Inside, Minds Posted in: Parenting and Families
5 Responses
WAKE UP GALS!!
THIS BOOK IS THE BEST MOST HIGHLY INFORMATIVE,
BUT…
ALL MEN ARE LIKE THIS.
YOU CAN EITHER BE ALONE AND GROW OLD ALONE, AND STRUGGLE FINANCIALLY ALONE WITH YOUR KIDS
OR
TAKE HIS ABUSE,
OR
LEAVE HIM
MEET A NEW MAN AND TAKE
HIS ABUSE.
Rating: 1 / 5
…Why Do I Let Him Do That To Me. Geez. It is 2009 and women can divorce a man at the drop of a hat. If you are being abused, leave the relationship. There. I just saved you ten bucks!
The worst thing about this book is that it is a self help book with no scientific studies to back up Bancrofts statements,absolutly none. He could have made all this up to get on Oprah’s book list, only to be exposed as a fraud.
I did an extensive internet search, and there is no information as to his education level. The guy may not even graduated from high school.
Unfortunatally for me, I am required to read this in a college class of all places. I thought college education was based on facts, not someones opinion!
Rating: 1 / 5
I can’t really say that I hated this book or that I really liked it. I can say that it makes an abuser look REALLY bad and make you almost hate that person. It made me feel like my husband, even though he doesn’t physically abuse me, knows what he’s doing when he manipulates and frightens me. I have chosen to seek god for myself but it would be a sin to leave him. My husband is also a recovering alcoholic. Is he an abuser or an alcoholic? I don’t know know, maybe he’s both. Or maybe his parents were so screwed up with their own lives that my poor husband never got a chance to live a spiritual life. I do know that my husband as little to no self esteem and that is something that can be worked on I am sure. Men are delicate creatures in their emotions. Woman are much stronger, contrary to popular belief. A man will give an emotional answer to a practical question a lot. I would like a christian point of view when it comes to angry men and why they do the things they do and how to manage your family around it. I mean do I just let my husband yell at us ALL the time? The bible tells me to act one way but as a mother I feel it is my duty to stand in front of them and protect them from an emotionally abusive attack. So with that said, anyone have any suggestions? I am going to try Angry Men and the Women who love them. And see if that one is any better. I have heard it’s great.
Rating: 2 / 5
I just read this book after my wife adopted it as her new bible. She believes she has identified certain parallels in our relationship as described in the book and she now seeks to end our marriage.
The pain this has caused me is immeasurable and the book itself is completely void of any counsel as to how couples might work through these problems. It simply taps into the culture of women’s empowerment by way of victimization and suspicion–a lucrative market to be sure!
Bancroft’s folly here is like a sham research project designed to sustain a predetermined outcome. There are many subtle reasons why people behave the way they do and behavioral patterns are not always iron-clad evidence of a single root cause. Bancroft’s book is dangerous, intellectually dishonest, and devoid of any professional crediblity or positive insight.
Rating: 1 / 5
As far as I can tell, this author has no academic background on the subject of abuse. He runs, or used to run, a center for reforming abusers. Yet he admits his center had little to no success in reforming anyone.
This work stereotypes and demonizes anyone who does anything abusive — which, by his definition, includes most any disrespectful behavior. It basically tells women that they have no healthy choices beyond fleeing their relationships. (Bancroft holds no special value for marriage over any other type of relationship.)
Particularly insidious is his description of what “an abuser” will do to get a woman to return once she leaves him. Many of the things described are things most non-abuser would do also. (Imagine this, he’ll resist your separation. How abusive!) In Bancroft’s mind, whatever approach a partner may choose to try and reconcile is symptomatic of “an abuser.” And if friends and family try to influence the woman into taking him back (there’s no qualifications offered as to the severity, or lack of it, of the abuse in question), the reader is told to instinctively reject their communication out of hand.
Also terrible is the way Bancroft purports to know the motives of all men who abuse: they’re evil and bent on domination.
Taken seriously, this book is pretty much guaranteed to insight hatred in the heart of anyone who suspects they might be in an abusive relationship, regardless of its severity.
If you want to be brainwashed into hating your partner, and feel justified in leaving him, this book is the ticket. If you’re interested in dealing with abuse in a manner that has the potential of saving your relationship and making it healthy, definitely look elsewhere. Abuse is an issue to be taken seriously, but the content of this book is only appropriate for the most severe forms of abuse.
Rating: 1 / 5
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